HEART– Make the most of all of your loving relationships – with your partner, kids, parents, other family and friends This month, we’re turning our attention to how to boost your energy right now. Our dossier takes a deep-dive into all the things that are secretly draining you, like a TV left in standby, plus looks at ways to supercharge yourself and how to beat energy vampires.

But if you’re so busy you think you don’t have time to reap the benefits of a good book, don’t worry – a study at the University of Sussex found that reading for just 6 minutes has the power to reduce stress levels by a huge 68%. (1) Lucy Holland, author of Sistersong, adds: 'I never expected to find answers to my personal issues in a book of essays, but Alan Garner's The Voice That Thunders absolutely transformed my understanding of emotional triggers and helped me come to terms with events I'd never consciously understood before. Garner talks candidly about his own mental health and that is so important when it still carries a stigma for many people. I think in some cases books can be better than doctors when it comes to learning about ourselves; they give us a gentle, accessible and contemplative space that can't be replicated elsewhere.' So how do we know we’re being gaslit, or tormented with microaggressions in our relationships? It’s a subject Thora Hjörleifsdóttir explores within a romantic relationship, in her novel Magma. Lilja is won over by an older beautiful, Derrida-quoting intellectual man. She’s so dazzled by him, she’ll do anything not to lose him, and despite his serial cheating, narcissism and emotional abuse through gaslighting, she rationalizes every wrong step he makes, every microaggression he projects towards her, every boundary he breaks. It’s easy to believe we’d never allow ourselves to stay in such a toxic relationship, but often we don’t recognize that we’re in it until it’s too late, normalizing behaviours because the alternative is too difficult to swallow. Whenever I read the Virgo traits, I feel like a fraud. It's as if I somehow slipped through the cosmic net into a star sign I don't really belong to. And yet, despite this, every month without fail I hop online and read astrological musings to help guide me through the ups and downs of the month ahead. The pair have also shared snapshots of their kitchen where they're known to rustle up healthy dishes.

And finally… if literature isn’t your thing, non-fiction books can provide practical help when we need it If you’ve ever come across a narcissist, gaslighter or serial cheater, be it a friend, family member or romantic partner, you may have experienced a psychological version of ‘death by a thousand cuts’ first hand, in the form of microaggressions. One microaggression might be easy enough to handle and pass by, just as one cut to the body would not cause too much pain or take too long to heal. But over time, these microaggressions build and compound until they become a form of mental and emotional torture; until eventually the person becomes a fragmented, un-whole version of themselves. ‘Over time, these microaggressions build and compound until they become a form of mental and emotional torture; until eventually the person becomes a fragmented, un-whole version of themselves.’

Draper, Joe (21 December 2021). "The Digital Spy Reader Awards 2021 full results". Digital Spy. Archived from the original on 22 December 2021 . Retrieved 22 December 2021.

Books for those looking to find solace in creativity

Reading about other people’s experiences, be it fictional or real life, can provide a reflective mirror for seeing ourselves within manipulative relationships. Or a tonic of realisation once we’ve freed ourselves from their toxic grip that the behaviour was not normal, and that we weren’t in the wrong, no matter how many times we were told that the confrontations, upsets and arguments were our fault. ‘Reading about other people’s experiences, be it fictional or real life, can provide a reflective mirror for seeing ourselves within manipulative relationships.’ It may be easy to think ‘I wouldn’t let someone talk to me or treat me like that,’ but unfortunately the process is usually masked by a facade of friendship, professionalism, or even love, which is instated before the emotional abuse begins. It’s a lot like the fable of the boiling frog; if you drop a frog into boiling water it will jump right out, but if you drop it into cold water and slowly boil the pan, it won’t notice the steady rise in temperature and sit there until… well, you get the picture. Reading has been essential to my mental health since long before I knew what mental health was or that I need to look after it' says Cathy Rentzenbrink, author of Dear Reader . 'I’ve pondered over the years about why that is and have a few theories. At the most basic level it offers an escape from myself. If I am brooding and my mind is going around in circles then I can get off my own internal merry-go-round for a couple of hours by getting in the bath with an old favourite. Silent Witness and Call The Midwife star James Farrar joins the cast of EastEnders, 31 January 2021". WhatsOnTV . Retrieved 18 February 2021.