Well Patrick, what can I say, you are the one that kiss and tell, I never ever ever told anybody how a naughty boy you are. Try our homemade Valentine's card designs here, or to make things easier, choose one of these printable Valentine's cards. By signing up you agree to receive communications from LoveToKnow and select partners in accordance with our Privacy Policy.

The Comb in the Urinal" is sixteen short stories recounting scenarios about inanimate objects that I have come upon in my travels and what human circumstances occurred to leave them there. They range from being slightly cheeky to seriously X-rated, and run the gamut from short, naughty poems to long, sultry affairs that take their time, so there's something to suit everyone – and your partner is sure to appreciate whatever you choose! Valentine’s Day is upon us, and with it comes the pressure to find a witty yet romantic way to let your other half know you’re thinking of them. But to your long-term lover who you want to get hot with tonight and who will totally appreciate it for what it is?

It's something a little different than the usual chocolate and flowers, and is guaranteed to raise a smile – whether it's a wry chuckle at your X-rated limerick, or a sly wink as your partner grabs your hand and leads you upstairs.

And Valentine’s Day, arguably the day of the year with the most romantic potential, is the perfect opportunity to flex your charisma to a cutie you have a crush on with a Valentine’s Day pickup line. Even if you and your partner share a common love of sarcastic wit, use this rude poem with caution or you could find yourself out in the cold this Valentine's day. com, the Sell on Etsy app, and the Etsy app, as well as the electricity that powers Etsy’s global offices and employees working remotely from home in the US.

Don’t send or deliver an R-rated pickup line to a total stranger who hasn’t consented to that kind of energy. Etsy’s 100% renewable electricity commitment includes the electricity used by the data centres that host Etsy. A selection of short valentines poems which are essentially funny, but which have a darker side or a twist in the tail.

Very funny, Patrick and, I mean, how bad can things be if "a guy can find good use of his balls and his wood?

With a distinct change in tone, we move onto one of Paul's poems for the girls on the delicate subject of choosing a lover. Last Name * Please enter a Last Name Please enter a valid Last Name, the maximum length is 50 characters.