However, before you start your bondage fun, you need to talk to your partner. Don't just suddenly blindfold or gag someone with exploring the idea with them first, and I certainly wouldn't do both at the same time on the first occasion but try each one out separately. Discipline is the practice of training a “submissive” to obey, follow rules, or perform certain acts. Discipline is almost always present in the relationship between a dominant partner and a submissive one.

Whether you like the sound of hot wax and nipple clamps or feathers and sexy whispers, why not tell your partner some of your favourite sounds, tastes and sensations.

How to Use Bed Restraints and Under The Bed Ties

Technology has come on leaps and bounds and these days everyone and their dog can press record on their smartphone and make a sexy video. However, don't be disappointed if your sex tape doesn't turn out like the porn films. Find an area in your home with good lighting, wear your sexiest outfit and don't be afraid to delete it if you're not keen on the finished product. And do not invite your dog. 10. Sex with strangers The term fetish is often used interchangeably with kink to refer to any sexual activity that falls outside the mainstream appetite. But fetish is actually a subset of kinky sex, and technically refers to the fixation of an inanimate object that’s not typically sexual such as body parts - notably feet! Ask for a container," says Wright. "[It] could sound something like: 'Hey babe, I’d love to find a time to talk to you about our sex life—specifically some stuff about BDSM. When would be good?'" Even in a post- Fifty Shades world, there's no shame in being new to BDSM. And while investing in kink gear and sex toys can be fun, this kind of play is ultimately about you, your partner or partners, and consensual power exchange, not capitalism. "BDSM doesn’t require any money," kink-friendly sex therapist Michael Aaron tells Allure. "Much of it is psychological, and if you are looking for impact play, many people feel like no toy beats their hands anyway, and that’s free. Likewise, various household items such as rope and clothespins can be used in scenes, and they hardly cost anything at all." (A "scene" is how people commonly refer to a period in which the kinky play goes down.) From safely restraining your partner to experimenting with role-play, here are eight ways you can explore BDSM with your partner tonight. 1. Talk through your interests and boundaries.

Flogging: Using a device, such as a whip or flogger, to hit someone’s body to create arousal. Oftentimes, it is used as punishment. Dominance & SubmissionBondage and discipline: The BD in BDSM stands for bondage and discipline. Bondage is a form of sex play that focuses on restraint. Having another person control your pleasure is central here, and it can involve props such as handcuffs, ropes, blindfolds, or a range of restraints.

When it comes to aftercare (which is exactly what you think it means), it’s important to have a discussion with your partner(s) beforehand about how that will look as every person is different, says Frye-Nekrasova. Some people might enjoy being left alone afterward, while others might want to talk it out and be cuddled. Each of these might sound scary in their own right, but because they rely on a judgement-free zone where communication about your desires and boundaries come first, BDSM can actually be the safest (and most fun) kind of sex you can have, says Holly Richmond, PhD, LMFT, a somatic psychologist, certified sex therapist, and author of Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life. Pascoal, P. M., et al.(2015). Sexual satisfaction and distress in sexual functioning in a sample of the BDSM community: A comparison study between BDSM and non-BDSM contexts [Abstract]. I like to call it ‘power play’ because, to me, that is at the heart of BDSM,” says sex expert Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist, sexuality counselor, and author of She Comes First. “You’re able to use your imagination, create a scene, role play, and tap into themes that are interesting, like submission and domination.” Holvoet, L., et al. (2017). Fifty shades of Belgian gray: The prevalence of BDSM-related fantasies and activities in the general population [Abstract].Once you hear or say the safeword, all parties should respond immediately. BDSM only works when it’s mutually pleasurable for everyone involved, so as soon as it’s clear things have gone too far, game over. Ask your partner(s) if they’re okay, stay by their side until they’ve expressed what it is that called for the safeword, and then ask them what they’ll need from that moment forward, says Richmond. Medical News Today has strict sourcing guidelines and draws only from peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. We avoid using tertiary references. We link primary sources — including studies, scientific references, and statistics — within each article and also list them in the resources section at the bottom of our articles. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy. In any tie, but particularly with ties involving the wrists, it’s important to make sure you have plenty of wiggle room between the skin and the rope, and that the tie can’t tighten down on itself," she says. "A tie that does this is both uncomfortable and unsafe and can potentially cause loss of circulation or nerve damage." Group sex is the epitome of kink and most of us have fantasised about inviting additional people into the bedroom for a threesome or an orgy. However, with relationship hang-ups and safety measures to consider, group sex with friends does not always translate that well into real life. The easiest way to dip your toe in the multiples pond is to invite a stranger to join you (easily done via most dating apps now) or attend a sex party to see how it feels first. We hear Killing Kittens is a great place to start. 6. Swinging Keep spanking and caning to the fleshy areas. It’s a good idea to warm up the area first with gentle spanks. • Spitting