If you’re the kind of person who enjoys writing letters in Christmas cards to your friends and relatives, it may be second nature for you to bring up your (and your family’s) struggles and achievements in your holiday cards. However, you need to be careful about talking about your own struggles when writing a Christmas card to someone who’s suffered a loss.

Our recent research found that nearly a third of British people feared writing cards to grieving friends or relatives. 37% of people also said they would find it useful to have expert advice on what to write. So we’ve put together some advice for ‘what to say, when you don’t know what to say’. Some tips/thought starters for writing Christmas Cards Knowing what to write can feel a bit overwhelming, but you can't go wrong if you show empathy. These are some examples of what to include in a Christmas card to a grieving family:

This holiday, I'm thinking about what a gift it was to know ____ and what joy she/he/they brought to the world. Sending you love and peace. The holidays are a time for reflection on the year, and I know this has been a challenging one. Sending you wishes for peace. I can’t begin to understand how hard it must be to go into your first Christmas without ______ but try to hold on to those treasured memories you have of her and remember how much she loved Christmas. I’m so sorry for this tragic time you’re going through and hope you’re coping ok

Merry Christmas. I know this must be a really hard since you lost ______. The holidays without a loved one are always so difficult. I hope and wish for you to have as happy a Christmas as you can All my love to you and your family at Christmas. May the seasons blessings bring you comfort and hope To a great extent, what you write in the card will depend upon your personal relationship with the bereaved, and their personality. The above ideas are great starting points, but try to personalise the message if you can. READ MORE: What to Say When it’s Someone’s First Holiday Without a Loved One Tips for Christmas Cards and Loss The message you choose for your Christmas card can be one of faith and hope, an honest expression of the grief you're experiencing, a statement of gratitude for the support you've received, or anything else that feels right to you. There are no rules here.If you’re sure they don’t know then this could be the time to tell them. It may seem wrong to do so at such a festive time but assuming they are close/important people in your life they are going to want to know about a major event like a death