My Grief Is Like the Ocean: A Story for Children Who Lost a Parent to Suicide

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My Grief Is Like the Ocean: A Story for Children Who Lost a Parent to Suicide

My Grief Is Like the Ocean: A Story for Children Who Lost a Parent to Suicide

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Even the loss of a job can bring with it waves of grief. We need to know even that feeling of loss and grief is OK. Until I began this project I hadn’t noticed that I was like that. I just figured I was a really compassionate person who was forced, by circumstance, to be kind of an asshole once in a while. People who knew me seemed to think that, too. When your loved one faces a wave of negative emotions, you can’t fix things for them. However, you can lend your support by being there for them, listening to them without judgment, and not offering any advice unless asked. Help them walk it out

We'd love for you to share your grief analogies, metaphors, and similes with our community. In the comments below, finish the sentence, Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. Waves of grief can make you feel like you’ve failed at healing, and they can threaten your emotional and psychological wellbeing if allowed. Those who have sufficient experience in dealing with grief understand that waves of emotion come and go, and that they’re not permanent. How to Deal With a Wave of Grief However, it’s common for most people to make the first four stages harder to get through, and the time to acceptance may take longer. Sometimes, total acceptance never comes.Though it can take a long time to overcome significant loss and grief, getting through it and surviving our grief by letting go is one of the healthy habits we can gain.

As you go through some of the more challenging experiences in your grief journey, you’ll learn to recognize the signs and triggers of your grief. In time, you’ll be better prepared to handle the flow of negative emotions associated with your loss. How we come out of our grief enables us to begin again with a renewed mind-body and spirit, feeling the purpose and the wonder of life itself. Above all else, youprobably didn't realize that eventually, you'd come to accept your prognosis willingly—that in some ways, you'd even cherish your grief because, although it hurts, it's kind of nice to know that your loved one remains close enough to your heart that their absence will always have the capacity to make you feel a sad but tender ache. I should know enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone-you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence.”

8. Sometime we need reassurance that there’s hope

Sometimes all you can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart. --- William C. Hannan Turn to your faith or any other spiritual practices. This could involve pray, meditation or any faith based activity. The most impactful way I’ve found to overcome grief and move ahead is by learning the power of letting go. A part of the process of working through your grief requires you to accept your feelings and emotions and become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Grief work isn’t easy. You may need to reach out to your grief resources and trust in the people you know and love to help you get through it. Reasons Grief Comes in Waves Leaning on your faith during your darkest hours helps you have something to hold on to. Grief can be challenging and drain you of everything you once believed to be true. A loss of faith often accompanies a life-changing event. You wouldn’t be the first person to question their beliefs, their faith, and their religion.

The reality of loss doesn’t immediately sink in. The consequences of loss can take years to manifest, sending a new wave of emotion when least expected. Waves of grief usually happen around the time of significant events that you missed out on, like your loved one’s graduation from college, wedding day, or retirement. Your emotions are unpredictable Hey all, I recently joined this sub and try to comment on as many of the posts as I can that I feel I can help out a bit. I am dealing with my own grief as well, but I wanted to share some information I found some years ago, posted on reddit before I even knew what reddit was. It is really great advice, and I hope everyone gets a chance to read it. Learning to accept and embrace these moments will help you develop the tenacity needed to heal from your loss. The reasons you’ll experience a constant flow of emotions when grieving are: You need time to process As a Christian believer, I also remind myself that if I truly believe what I say I believe (and I do!), then Andrew is in a place we all long to be. He is praising a Heavenly Father every second of every day and experiencing no pain or suffering. I can’t even wrap my human brain around how wonderful his little life is now. As I try to imagine what he must be experiencing I know that my loss is his gain… and there is nothing devastating about that. As a mother, I would put the happiness of my children before my own happiness any day of the week. It sure is amazing that we’ve been given the greatest gift by our Savior, Jesus Christ. He made a way for us so we can spend an eternity in Heaven once we leave this earth, just like Andrew! The waves of grief are no different. You might understand intellectually that they will keep coming, but some days they hit more forcefully, more fiercely than you ever imagined possible. And just when you thought you might be able to predict the next set, a rogue wave comes rushing in, undermining your balance and sweeping your feet out from under you."

Being grateful for everything in my life…. no matter what…

We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy. --- Pema Chodron A beautiful story of grief, scars that deep love leaves behind, the crashing waves of sadness that overwhelm you sometimes. Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope. Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. write so well and clearly in their post, Coping with Grief and Loss.



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