The more a daughter knows about the details of her mother's life — without flinching or whining — the stronger the daughter."— Anita Diamant

Even though Julie and Samantha assure Williams that they do fight, over typical teen/mom things like room-cleaning, Williams is amazed witnessing that rarest of things, a unicorn of familial relationships—"a fantasy come to life." She shares her own mom experience, in which certain things (discussions of sex, for example) are taboo, in which clothes belong purely to one person or the other, in which older generations are hopeless about the technologies of the new. Parenting was different then, Williams hypothesizes: Now, with shows like the new VH1 reality show Mama Drama, the parenting norm is BFF-dom. Is this good? Bad? True? What does it even mean?

She talked on the phone with her mom once a day. I noticed during those conversations there was mutual respect and love they had for each other. She called her mom every day because she trusted her. Caught red handed I didn't know how to responded. I went to reach for the knob to leave but her hand stopped before I could give it a turn. My throat ran dry. Why did she stop me? What does she want? I looked down at the grayish carpet as tears filled my eyes. Her gentle hand touched my chin and pulled me up to look at her. I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say. I was falling for my best friend's mom. What is wrong with me? I remained silence hoping soon I would be able to go and just cancel the party all together. Now as a busy mom myself, I think about her when I’m feeling maxed out and am tempted to tell my kids I don’t have time to do something they really want to do. Instead, I remember how she constantly said that her relationship with her kids was the most important thing to her and nothing else mattered half as much.

Mother. You are my voice of reason, storyteller, advice giver, hand holder, partner in crime [...] peacekeeper, cheerleader, twin, confidant, and my best friend." Then there are people like Julie and Samantha, who seem to be friends because they have similar interests, because they spent time together and in doing so realized they have fun together. Maybe they're friends because, goodness gracious, they just like each other, barring the occasional dispute that comes from hanging out a lot. But that's kind of what friendship is about, no matter who the players are, no? As Williams writes, "By rejecting the traditional traps, she and Julie have sort of beat the system by waging a new form of rebellion, one that’s not between parent and child but rather forged between them, against some standardized definition of family life. They’ve created their own dynamic, whether others understand it or not."

Best-friend parents

I knew I wanted something more when I had kids and my friend’s mom showed me there was a different way. She demonstrated how to make a kid feel wanted, secure, and loved unconditionally. She didn’t have to be my mom to inspire me. Watching the way she interacted with her daughter and her other four children was all I needed to witness. She's the exclamation mark in the happiest sentence that I could ever possibly write." — Michael Faudet Williams argues that the mom-daughter BFF phenomenon couldn't have happened without an overall societal and marketing focus on youth—even as older moms are infinitely more common and acceptable, moms don't want to seem old. (A corollary for thought: Is it possible that moms having children a bit older has led to the phenomenon as well? Maybe with older parenting comes both maturity and appreciation, and a loosening of a certain kind of traditional expectations.) Maybe it's not weird to be best friends with your mom (even though some are dubious and see this as a reflection of family dysfunction or even "spawning to socialize"—ew). Certainly, it's different to be friends with your grown-up daughter than it is to say that your toddler is your BFF, and worry about what will happen when she finds pals her own age, as one woman Williams quotes wrote on Babble.com.

Ian Pierpoint of Synovate, a market research company, surveyed 1,000 parents who lived with children ages 12 to 30 and an additional 500 children in the same age range in the U.S., UK, and Canada. The survey found that: They sit at the bar together, which makes Samantha, 19, feel grown-up (which she likes) and, presumably, Julie, 50, feel young, which she probably likes as well. No daughter and mother ever live apart, no matter what the distance between them."— Christie Watson It was the Summer of my 18 birthday. Sarah decided to through a party for me. I was up for it. After all she is my best friend. Her mother was going through a divorce and well Sarah was a bit down about it. She thought the party would take her mind off of it. Sarah decided on a pool party. It was set up for this weekend. My heart raced because secretly I liked her mom and seeing her in a bikini would be the highlight of the party. Well I rustled around for some cash. I worked overtime to get the right bikini I would wear. It was rainbow. Fitted my personality real well. After all being a lesbian I have to represent my colors. I was a bit shy though, all these hot women would surround me, but my eyes were on just one. It was Sarah's Mom Jenny. No one would like that idea so I kept pushing it away. She was 38 years old and her I was 18. Sarah was my best friend I couldn't hurt her feelings. I kept thinking about it. If something were to happen how would Sarah handle it? I pushed aside my thoughts for the time being as I paid for my suit and walked out. That's when I ran straight into Jenny. Will being a best-friend parent interfere with or slow down what my child needs to learn at this age? (Yes. Children in this study and our studies reported growing up without many of the life skills needed to function as adults because their best-friend parent did things for them.)You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray..." — Jimmie Davis, “You Are My Sunshine”