Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Product Information

Book Genre: Counselling, Health, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Psychology, Reference, Relationships, Self Help, Spirituality

I still struggle with feeling feelings and trusting my process, my path, and my Higher Power. I still feel afraid at times. Sometimes I forget and try to control everything. I may become obsessive, unless I catch myself. This is a good book for those in crisis mode. When you're beaten down and feeling trapped and you don't know what the hell is wrong with you, you need this book, which tells you over and over and over and over again: You're okay, you're a good person. You're okay, you're a good person. You're okay, you're a good person... I've met many of you in my travels across the country. Some of you have written to me. Thank you for the love, support, and compassion you've shown me not only over the years, but throughout the rough, raw months of 1991 after Shane's death.The most significant change in my life has been the loss of my son, Shane. As you may have heard or read, in February of 1991, three days after his twelfth birthday, my beloved Shane - so much a part of my life and work - was killed suddenly in a ski accident on the slopes at Afton Alps. The term is now used in a more broad sense: you can use the term (or concept or ideas or paradigm, if you don't feel the need to use the latest pop culture terminology) to describe one who feels compelled to help others to the point of hurting themself and the intended compassionate recipient. The best line is these two books is that codependents do "all the wrong things for all the right reasons." You have learned that you will never learn everything there is to know," he replied. " And you have learned how to stop the pain".”

The truth was I didn't UNDERSTAND the meaning of the word codependent, or the behaviors of someone with codependency, and certainly not the birth of these behaviors. This book helped me to truly explore that, and I can only say that I am happier on the other side of this book -- and a hell of a lot less anxious LOL. The book contains many quotes from the Twelve Step model and makes many references to God and a Higher Power. The Twelve Step references seemed appropriate at first but I didn't expect to see chapter(s) dedicated to the program. While the parts about the Twelve Step Program offer a good preview for those considering meetings for codependents, it started feeling like a sales pitch. I could have done without so many theistic references, and even though the author states that these references are spiritual but not religious, they felt religious. For each of us, there comes a time to let go. You will know when that time has come. when you have done all that you can do, it is time to detach. Deal with your feelings. Face your fears about losing control. Gain control of yourself and your responsibilities. Free others to be who they are. In so doing, you will set yourself free. p 82 When I first read this book, I figure that I would not post my feelings about it because they were too personal. However, now having some distance from the book and being able to employ the lessons I have learned, I am able to share myself with others. I have been aware of the term 'Codependent' for a long time, but it only recently popped up on my personal radar as something to look into and understand better. Within days of my starting to take an interest in the topic this book was referenced in another I was then reading (Traumata, by Meera Atkinson). A few weeks later I was looking at audiobooks in the local library and spotted this title, so immediately chose it.

Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay. —Codependent No More REVISED AND UPDATED  With a New Chapter on Trauma and Anxiety, a List of Resources, and More  2023 Nautilus Book Award Winner  As heard on Glennon Doyle's We Can Do Hard Things Podcast Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one's self-destructive behaviour, you may be codependent – and you may find yourself in this book.

I also learned that I need to detach myself from the people in my life that cause me harm…emotionally, physically, doesn’t matter… Catdependent No More, parodying the title of my book, makes the 1991 Christmas book list here in Minnesota. Tell about the changes that have happened - to women, to people in our country, to you, since you wrote that book," she suggested. Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down - as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go.A good rule of thumb is: You need to detach most when it seems the least likely or possible thing to do. p 65 Many of you have written to me, saying how much I've helped you. Well, you've helped and touched me, too. Make New Year's goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you're interested in fully living life in the year to come. Then we can be open to the next step. We are on time, and we are where we need to be. We can be trusted. So can God. And letting go and gratitude still work. Keep your head up and your heart open. And let's see what's next. Happy five-year anniversary, Codependent No More.