Brazen: My unorthodox journey from long sleeves to lingerie - As seen on Netflix's My Unorthodox Life

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Suffice it to say that she taught me nothing about sex or pleasure and everything about what I was supposed to do, according to what she claimed was Torah law, to keep my family and my children pure. The one thing she drummed into me during the classes, which took place twice a week every week leading up to the wedding, was that while my husband was “doing his duty,” I was not to think of my body but I was to recite psalms. I was to think of God as his seed spilled into me, as that was the only way to ensure that my children would come out holy. If I enjoyed the physical act too much and allowed myself to lose my concentration and focus, my children would be doomed for life, and it would be my fault, my sin. I had nightmares about this for several years after my marriage and did my utmost to recite psalms in my mind while my husband spilled his seed into me. I was so afraid to ruin my children before they were even born. Julia paints a portrait of herself as an oppressed woman who used her own strength of will to get out of her challenging and fundamentalist community. She is not humble and consistently (likely because she hopes for the validation, admiration and adulation she did not receive as a child or young woman) considers herself the best- has a genius level IQ, is an incredible, charismatic teacher, is very beautiful and desirable and so forth. People who publicly admit that they lie, and who feel no shame or guilt about lying- especially to people who are their loves or friends- disturb me. Because liars lie. If Julia is willing to lie about her age to all these people (due to her vanity), she’s willing to lie about other things, too. An irresistible read . . . Written with great intensity and rare candor, Brazen is a story of longing for more and manifesting that vision.”—Tommy Hilfiger This is messed up. Unfortunately, this kind of misinformation about sex still occurs (although I hope less frequently), although nowadays, because there is access to the Internet, it is easier for struggling brides and grooms to get access to accurate information. Unfortunately for Julia and Yosef, that option would not have existed.

Julia lies and feels no shame, regret or remorse for doing so. When she leaves the community and goes OTD (off the derech) she decides to cheat on her husband.

About this book

Julia describes a situation that is demonstrative of the level of family dysfunction/ neglect she grew up with. The desire in this book for wealth and Luxury overshadows Julia’s love of creativity and art. It makes me beg the question whether her true passion lies with design or simply with eating oysters in Paris. I’m sure this was never the intention Julia had when putting pen to paper. In the recent article by Sarah Robsdottir, “5 Reasons Catholics should watch Shtisel,” the Israeli scripted show featuring the lives of ultra-Orthodox in Jerusalem, they list, no “embarrassing” sex scenes, the prayers, an inspirational religious community and, for all the proud #myOrthodoxLife-ers, “ingenious” and “successful” female characters.

Haart immigrated to the U.S. with her family from the former Soviet Union as a small child. When she was 11, the family moved to Monsey. The first part of the book is pretty solid, but as the book goes on you start going "Mmm I dunno if that actually happened. That doesn't sound like a real story." I listened to the audiobook and would say the first part just sounded more genuine. And despite the surprise success of Shtislaround the world years after it ended in Israel, a fourth season is not in the making. But an American adaptation is. And, according to its synopsis, about a modern secular woman who falls in love with an ultra-Orthodox man and uproots her life for him – is exactly the show that many haters of My Orthodox Life proposed. (Except, it’s scripted.) ‘SHTISEL’ HAS become an international sensation (credit: RONEN AKERMAN/YES) In terms of helping individual people, I want to create some kind of safe space, where I can hire therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist," Haart said, to offer the professional support. "I know what I felt like when I left. I was suicidal. I was not well," referring to the personal feelings that led her to leave.

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Within a week, Julia started a shoe brand, and within nine months she was in Paris for fashion week. A year later, she became creative director of La Perla, the world-leading lingerie brand. And now, she is the co-owner and CEO of Elite World Group and one of the most powerful people in the fashion industry.

So because she considered herself no longer married to Yosef it was okay to cheat on him? And then justify it? Did he have a say in this? Why not be honest with him? I don’t even know why I bothered. I think I was scared because Chaviva was just a newborn, and I was afraid she would die. Those nights I was too afraid to even try to sleep- afraid she would choke on her vomit and die, and that I would be responsible for her death. Ever since she was a child, every aspect of Julia Haart's life--what she wore, what she ate, what she thought--was controlled by the dictates of ultra-orthodox Judaism. At nineteen, after a lifetime spent caring for her seven younger siblings, she was married off to a man she barely knew. For the next twenty-three years, he would rule her life. Eventually, when Julia's youngest daughter Miriam started to question why she wasn't allowed to sing, run, or ride a bike, Julia reached a breaking point. She knew that if she didn't find a way to leave, her daughters would be forced into the same unending servitude that had imprisoned her. While I do not think this is an accurate portrayal of Rachel and Rabbi Akiva (other Gemaras make clear he valued her, loved her and actually adorned her in a beautiful golden diadem called a Jerusalem of Gold), I understand Julia’s sentiment. Yes. I was taught this as well. My job was to become a kollel wife who would help my husband achieve greatness, and I would thus achieve greatness by proxy. I could not be this. It was not possible for me. And by not being this, by being unable to be this, it was clear I was lower- spiritually speaking- than the other women who could. Brazen: My Unorthodox Journey from Long Sleeves to Lingerie is the much-awaited memoir by Julia Haart, star of Netflix show ‘My Unorthodox Life.’ The book is billed as a triumphant feminist story of a woman who escaped a fundamentalist community- the ultra-Orthodox yeshivish world- to the freedom of modern, secular America.

eBook Details

Eventually, when her youngest daughter, Miriam, started to question why she wasn't allowed to sing, run or ride a bike, Julia reached her breaking point. She knew that if she didn't find a way to leave, her daughters would be forced into the same unending servitude. So Julia created a double life. When no one was looking, she'd sneak looks at fashion magazines and sketch designs for the clothes she dreamed about wearing in the world beyond her orthodox suburb. In the ultra-orthodox world, clothing has one purpose: to cover the body, head to toe. Giving any thought to one's appearance beyond that is considered sinful, an affront to God. She started clandestinely selling life insurance to save her "freedom" money. At the age of forty-two, she finally mustered the courage to flee the fundamentalist life that was strangling her soul. For international customers: The center is staffed and provides answers on Sundays through Thursdays between 7AM and 14PM Israel time Toll However, the act of writing reveals more truths than we intend. Upon reading the book, I was far more sympathetic to Julia Haart than I had been when watching the show. She comes across as the intelligent, creative woman that was stifled within the confines of her repressive community. However, a second layer also emerges. This is the story of a woman who did not experience parental love or spousal love and strongly desired validation and love. She decided to achieve it through shining in every other possible way- through maintaining her physical beauty, cooking delectable dishes and becoming a renowned Judaic Studies teacher. She also decided to achieve it through choosing to parent in a fundamentally different manner from how her parents chose to parent- leading her to become enmeshed with her children. Julia views herself as a role model for women, and believes that she is “dangerous” because she is a “woman who left and not only survived but succeeded” (VIII). In her words, “My story doesn’t fit the narrative of anyone who wants to use religion as an excuse to make women subservient to men. My very existence is a serious threat” (VIII).