Also important to note: Many masturbators, such as the Tenga Egg, are intended for limited (or even single) use, while others are rechargeable and reusable. And be sure to invest in some good lube (but avoid silicone-based lube if the toy is made of silicone, as it can degrade the toy). What are the best masturbators and strokers? We’v also rounded up a few more cute and comfortable sets of sex cuffs great for beginners and experienced players. I’m a little freaked out by the idea of restraints. How can I make sure my partner and I both stay safe? While they are often referred to as male masturbators, Dr. Lehmiller says these sex toys are an option for anyone who has a penis and wants to explore new sensations. “That said, different strokers may feel better for different bodies because everyone is a little different in terms of penile size and shape, as well as what feels good to them,” he says. “For example, some masturbators are designed specifically for trans men who have started to transition. The key is to shop around and find the right toy for you and your body—and maybe consider trying a few different ones." What to know when shopping for a masturbator There's also an idea that the penis-equipped can masturbate whenever they want and have exactly the same experience each time, so there's no need to get your partner to do it for you. Handjobs are wholly misunderstood and highly underrated. We spoke to sex experts, and people who love handjobs, to find out why handjobs are so great and how to do a good (hand)job. Why go for a handjob? Speaking of lube, that can be another way to up your handjob game. I think lube is nonnegotiable for handjobs, but the reality is that most people just don’t use it. If you don’t already use lube, start now. It will make the act so much more enjoyable. If you already use it, try experimenting with different lubes. Silicone-based or even anal-sex-specific lubes can feel awesome with a handjob.

According to a study from 2014,published in the journal Sex and Relationship Therapy by the University of Indiana, you can give yourself an EIO (exercise-induced orgasm) by engaging your abs. The phallus is what’s commonly referred to as the shaft of the penis, and it includes a couple of different erogenous zones. The glans is the top of the phallus, usually referred to as the “head,” and the frenulum is a thin strip of connective tissue on the underside of the glans that can be particularly sensitive to targeted stimulation. Last but not least, the anus is, well … it's the butthole. The rectum is the interior portion that attaches to the anus. Both of these areas can be sensitive to internal and external stimulation. Though handjobs might sound simple, all sexual activity involves some preparation work so that everyone feels safe, happy and ready to exchange pleasure. From there, try kissing your partner on the lips, then slowly moving down, stopping to nibble and tease the nipples.

When you’ve got to grips with handjobs, you might want to up the ante. Chelsie Reed, PhD, LPC, a mental health counsellor and author of Sexpert: Desire, Passion, Sensations, Intimacy, and Orgasm to Indulge in Your Best Sex Life, says hand jobs get a bad rap because they seem one sided, are not always including a lot of loving and tenderness, and do not seem to include intimacy. The value of a really great handjob is undeniable. They allow the giver to really get to know a penis at the beginning of a sexual relationship and, compared with oral and penetrative sex, it allows for a better visual that helps the giver truly understand what gets their partner off. You can also incorporate the stoplight system (red, yellow and green) to let your partner know what’s good, what you may want to pause and talk about or slow down with and what’s a no-no. This is a great way for feeling out boundaries and comfort levels and keeping communication going. If you fancy the popular rabbit-style dildo, the Wall Banger Suction Cup Vibrator, offers ‘shivering ears’ so that your clitoris is stimulated at the same time. The vulva is the exterior part of the vagina. It includes the labia majora, labia minora, the urethra, and the clitoris. The clitoris is the center of erogenous nerves in the vulva, and it’s much larger than just the exterior portion. Its internal structures extend down to either side of the vagina, which is where you’ll find the G-spot—the area stimulated by toys that curve toward the front of your body.

For John, handjobs are also a welcome relief from pain problems during sex. "I have arthritis in my knees and feet and having sex sometimes for me is a struggle as it's painful,"he explains. "So sitting, having handjobs or laying down isn't just easier. And it’s much more exciting than masturbating." How to prepare for a handjob

How to spice up a handjob

First, don’t do bondage with a person you don’t know well or trust, and agree on a safe word in advance. “A safe word — any word besides ‘no’ or ‘stop,’ basically — allows the bottom person to be in character if she likes; when it’s time to stop, the safe word takes them out of the fantasy scene and interjects real needs in a clear way,” Queen says. If you’re really wanting to learn what your partner likes and understand their pleasure points, Leach recommends trying mutual masturbation or watching your partner masturbate. Sometimes, seeing how someone pleasures themselves can help you to pleasure them by replicating the same kinds of touch. How to spice up a handjob OK, so the latter requires your hands to swap vibrations – but once you’ve done that, you’re good to go).

Now for the fun part. To start the handjob, figure out together where this handjob is going to lead. Leach says that whether a handjob is just a handjob and will be taken to climax, or if it’s going to be part of more extensive play leading to intercourse, is important to discuss beforehand so there are no surprises. "Pressure is also important in handjobs. Speak to your partner before, during and after the handjob about what kind of touch, grip and speed they like," she advises. Other hands-free delights include suction dildos that you can attach to the floor or shower wall, and ‘ride’, with multiple vaginal and anal options to choose from Lovehoney. The original Magic Wand was always a bit bulky. Plus, it plugs into the wall, and I've never had a sexual encounter that was improved by the presence of an extension cord. The Mini solves both of those problems. It's small, fits easily in one hand, and is not too heavy. It's rechargeable, so no need to fumble with cables while you're using it. Plus, it offers a generous 2.5-hour battery life on a single charge. Apparently, flooding our minds with dirty thoughts can bring on an orgasm without us doing anything else. Leach recommends grabbing some lube to make things easier. "Lubrication is such a great thing to add to all manual stimulation, and I consider it essential. It can increase stimulation, add in new sensations, and help to create a glide that gives a new range of motions and tempos," she says. Try a lube that offers a tingly sensation to see if this adds more pleasure for the receiver.When performing the handjob, both the giver and the receiver should be in a nice comfortable position, such as lying down in bed, and start slowly. Sexual partners can explore and figure out what each other likes best through communication and touch each time they have sex, but for beginners, kissing and a bit of pillow talk might be a nice place to start. So, there’s no shame in asking a new sexual partner if they’ve been tested recently, and taking extra measures to protect yourself. Some people like to do handjobs with latex gloves on, which kill two birds with one stone by adding a layer of protection and being super kinky. Who said handjobs were boring? How to give a good handjob