I don't care if my boyfriend goes to a soapland as long as I don't know about it. It’s not cheating, it’s just what Japanese guys do." As a couple, their initial reaction was to turn to God and look to religion for answers, and while that helped that did not last very wrong. Hilarious. The word is a kanji cognate and it means infidelity in Korean and Chinese as well, and probably has for two thousand years. It does not and has not meant simply "immoral." I guess next you will be arguing that the word "sushi" is derived from "fishy" and Japanese learned it from American soldiers after WWII.

He told me he and his wife weren’t getting along but that their youngest child was still in elementary school and he didn’t want to end the marriage until the child moved up to junior high school,” recalls a 33-year-old Tokyo OL of an affair with a former boss. “He asked me to wait two years.” If you basically like your wife and don’t want to divorce her, better tell your mistress early on, warns Kameyama. Here’s a cautionary tale of what can happen otherwise.Unlike in the United States, where strippers and prostitutes are generally looked down upon, hostesses tend to be more respected, with some even appearing on Japanese variety TV shows. Here was a woman who had been a devout and faithful wife for over a decade and had done right by her family. “I was a good mother, I had been a model wife prior to this. Why did I do something like this?” she questions.

My husband never held my hand, in public or in private. Random hugs and kisses never happened. The only touch I experienced was during sex. And there was a lot of it, but it was not very satisfactory at all. I just wanted to feel.. loved I guess. Feel human almost,” she notes. After numerous failed attempts at having intercourse, Kenichi begins frequenting a soapland. He purposefully leaves his point card (might as well get a discount) where his wife Kumiko can easily find it. Kumiko follows him to the massage parlor and from afar bows deeply, reluctantly accepting the fact that they are providing Kenichi a need that she herself is incapable of fulfilling.

In the end, opinions vary. Everyone has their own idea of where cheating begins and how to handle a partner who has cheated on them. And as for Kumiko and Kenichi, I suppose their unique solution and views on sex and love aren’t so strange after all.

Fast forward to almost four years later now, and it took a good three years for things to finally normalise and fall into place. There is still the odd day when the incident would be brought up, but it has reduced so much in frequency,” she notes. Never, never, writes Kameyama in Shukan Asahi, bring your lady friend home. Your wife may be away visiting her parents and seemingly out of the picture; it’s dreadfully imprudent all the same. “A woman may be curious to see her boyfriend’s domestic establishment,” she writes, “and she may savor the tingle of fear she feels upon entering the premises, but the end result is jealousy and regret. it’s a very bad idea.” As painful as it was, I was the perpetrator of a betrayal. I had done something unforgivable and it was only right for me to feel the pain, a fraction of the hurt I had caused my family,” she notes. Thankfully, in my case, I was able to iron out (most) of the problems and I am still married to my husband. Are we happy? Yes, thankfully, 4 years later we are finally happy most of the time. Of course, we are not totally happy all the time and I don’t think anyone is, but we try our best. I am trying my best,” she says. Advice to women in similar situationsif you think its cool to give advice aimed at easing the path of inter personal dishonesty then you`re a jerk When I was younger, well, i didn't get married because it was all about me. ( I suppose its not unusual for a young man to be so) As I have aged, though, I get a larger and larger satisfaction, and happiness, providing for my family and others. I had one older son who was five years old at the time, and I miscarried a daughter at 5 months the year before. It was a baby that I was looking forward to and a pregnancy I enjoyed with all my heart. After the loss, I could not relate to any of my friends. I felt that they were on totally different planes. It was antagonising every time we would meet because they would show off those extra babies on their arms like arm-candy and it would irk me thoroughly. I stopped going out with them, I stopped taking their calls,” she says, adding that despite these were not her friends’ intentions this was how she saw it. For Zenigata2, I know what you probably went through. A friend of mine married like you (he was fresh off the boat in Yokosuka, and married a women 15 yrs older than he, and she had "been around" and finally found someone). A woman like that is looking out for her self interest in making sure that she does not get done to her what she probably had been doing to other women while she was younger. 0 Then I guess I am a jerk! Zenigata2's story is a good reason why I think it is ok to give such advice. I am not pushing anyone down the path of infidelity, but if they are going to do it, they may as well do it right. Personally, I think a responsibly handled affair (and sometimes secrecy equals a responsible handling) is far less damaging to individuals and society than divorce. In fact, for some, a fling or two is just the think to keep them healthy and happy in the marriage, and keep them responsible parents to their children. Maybe Zeni has strong reasons to stay in the marriage but needs relief? Try to think outside of childishly simple views of right and wrong every once in a while.

Naturally. “Furin”—the sort of love that’s supposedly off-limits to the married—has been much in and around the news since celeb announcer Mona Yamamoto was spotted last month at a love hotel with married Yomiuri Giants slugger Tomohiro Nioka. Big deal, you might say, but she (who had been through all this once before) lost her anchor spot on Fuji TV’s new news program “Sakiyomi,” and he was suspended for a time. So in that sense, if in no other, it is a big deal." What is the point of getting involved with a man that is married or has a girlfriend? I just don't get it.I needed to hold vigil for my relationship. For a very long time, it felt like I was just was waiting for forgiveness while remaining repentant and trying to work on my marriage. It seemed to me that I had to be patient for a very long time, years in fact, but I am glad I did. I know that seems like a very anti-climatic answer but that’s exactly what I did. I waited – a lot,” she says. My wife has amazing intuition,” says a 40-year-old Tokyo company employee. “I started going out with this woman I met at work. She’s 10 years younger than me. Anyway, one day I’m at home cutting my nails, and all of a sudden my wife says, ‘What’re you so happy about?’ I said, ‘What?’ She says, ‘You’re humming. That’s not like you.’ Kameyama observes this difference between male and female adulterers: women grow tense, men grow expansive. Expansiveness feels good but has its dangers. “Don’t despise your wife’s intuition,” warns Kameyama. “An iron rule of infidelity is, if you go to a hotel don’t use the soap -- but some wives say they can even smell a hotel’s hot water.”