You are allowed to take up space. Own who you are and what you want for yourself. Stop downplaying the things you care about, the hopes you have. Own your passions, your thoughts, your perceptions. Own your fire. Stop putting your worth in the hands of others; stop letting them decide your value. Own saying no, saying yes. Own your mood, your feelings. Own your plans, your path, your success.” Another reason parents suppress a gifted child’s ability to shine is that they feel intimidated. If you were a gifted child – whether intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually – your parents may not have intended to hurt you, and they may not have been aware that they were constantly silencing you. But because they were uncomfortable being seen through and confronted continuously with your radical honesty, they tried subtly or explicitly to keep you from voicing your views. Moreover, if they do not have a good relationship with their emotional world, your strong emotions and intensity may also be felt as a threat to them. So, to protect themselves, they make you think that you are in the wrong for showing your feelings and speaking your truth. Because you have internalized the message that your natural self is a threat to others and that your parents would “love you less” if you continue to take up space, you have been conditioned to mute yourself.

We are born with the innate ability to take up space, and the right to do so, but not everyone feels capable of doing so. Trusting that you are being loved for who you are entails having faith that others will love and value your inner qualities, such as your personality, character, and what comes from your heart. In contrast, to be loved for what you do is to feel or believe that others want you around solely because of what you do or have accomplished, your social standing, and what you can do for them. There is a lot of research that suggests that the way we hold our bodies can have an impact on our minds. For example, adopting a posture of confidence can make you feel more confident, while keeping yourself in a shrinking posture can make you feel insecure. One way to take up space physically is to focus on your posture, on lengthening your spine and broadening your shoulders. That is how taking up space in a healthy way looks like. You may also observe how leaders, public speakers and confident people compose themselves. Becoming more aware of your body and learning to express yourself can help you feel more powerful and in control. When you take up space, you communicate that you have a place in the world and that your voice deserves to be heard.Despite what you may believe, you can disappoint people and still be good enough. You can make mistakes and still be capable and talented. You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love. Everyone has disappointed someone they care about. Everyone messes up, lets people down, and makes mistakes. Not because we’re inadequate or fundamentally inept, but because we’re imperfect and fundamentally human. Expecting anything different is setting yourself up for failure.” A relationship is a two-way street; not just the other person but you also need to get something from the relationship.

Fields, J., & Payne, E. (2016). Editorial introduction: Gender and sexuality taking up space in schooling. Sex education, 16(1), 1-7. I so clearly remember what it was like, being young and always in the grip of some big fat daydream. I wanted to be a writer always, but more than that, I wanted to have an extraordinary life. I’m sure I dreamed it a million different ways, and that plenty of them were ridiculous, but I think the daydreams were training for writing, and I also think they spurred me to pursue my dreams for real. The truth is that many people who have been told that they are wrong or “too much” have developed a strong negativity bias— they almost always hear only the negative and blow it up, neglecting other factors. Once, this had been the life I’d wanted. Even chosen. Now, though, I couldn’t believe that there had been a time when this kind of monotony and silence, this most narrow of existences, had been preferable. Then again, once, I’d never known anything else.”Children who have not been traumatized by a narcissistic parent or abusive sibling innately know how to take up space without fear and shame. Most children innately know how to claim their birthright to their physical and emotional freedom. They cry when they want to and laugh when they want to. Classic attachment research in psychology has famously shown that when a securely attached child enters a room, they are not afraid to go around and explore. They are happy to have a space where they can be spontaneous and playful, and they will explore new territory without fear of reprisal or shame. The story is different, however, for those who have been wounded in their upbringing. Do you not notice it when stress accumulates in your system until you become completely burned out? By publishing your document, the content will be optimally indexed by Google via AI and sorted into the right category for over 500 million ePaper readers on YUMPU. People with narcissistic parents are afraid to take up space because they have learned that it is not safe to do so. They may have been constantly criticized by their parents or made to feel small, which has caused them to doubt themselves and their worth. As a result, they often think they have to apologize for their existence and be quiet to avoid attention or criticism.