Talk to friends and family about your emotions. Avoid bottling up your emotions and allow yourself to speak about the break up to others. Be vocal about how you are feeling and your journey to processing the break up. Lean on close family and friends and do not be afraid to seek out their support when you need it. [5] X Research source Solutions often provide the closure we need to activate our ability to let go and move on, but our approach to be optimistic by pursuing closure through finding solutions is what keeps us talking about it and it teeters on that line of holding on to something.” Simpson, D. (2015). William David Ross. In Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Retrieved from http://www.iep.utm.edu

Highly recommended for children, teens, and adults alike – this book is definitely deserving of the National Book Award, and will leave readers aching to understand one another despite their personal problems.Allow yourself time to heal. This is probably one of the more difficult steps in the process; no one enjoys experiencing negative emotions. Don’t worry about feeling blue. Why wouldn’t you feel that way after a loss? Allow yourself the courage to confront the pain. Allow yourself moments to cry and wallow in those somber love songs (I have been there and can give many thanks to the singer/songwriter Adele). Hiding from these emotions — or even worse, numbing yourself via drugs or alcohol — may make you feel better in the short term, but the pain will still be present. It’s better to sort through the hurt now so it doesn’t creep up on you when you’re already in the midst of a new chapter. Kathryn Erskine spent many years as a lawyer before realizing that she'd rather write things that people might actually enjoy reading. Mitchell, D. (2013). Some shooting victims attend Aurora theater reopening event. Fox News. Retrieved from http://www.kdvr.com/2013/01/17/some-shooting-victims-attend-Aurora-theater-reopening-event/

As to the Asperger's, from the author's note she does not outright say but it seems clear that either she or a loved one has an 'aspie' child and she is writing from experience. Caitlin is well presented as a female with Asperger's. The typical picture the public has of someone with AS is a science, math, computer geek and this is not wrong. These are often very strong interests in males (which doesn't mean some females will too) but typically females show their 'geekiness' in words and books. They are writers, bookworms, grammar police, etc. Caitlin here is an excellent student with great writing skills and a fascination with the dictionary, who keeps lists of words with the accentuated part in caps. Typical female AS behaviour. Caitlin has some meltdowns, fortunately the author doesn't over do them, as has been done in other books I've read. Girls are less likely to have seriously noticeable meltdowns and hyperactivity making the typical age of diagnoses around 16 rather 8 as in boys. Caitlin's two least favourite subjects at school are recess and PE. This really endeared her to me as those were my most hated subjects as well. There is this anxiety feeling you get in the pit of your stomach as an aspie and Caitlin associates this with recess so whenever she gets this feeling she will say she is feeling recessy or has the recess feeling. This beautifully describes an everyday symptom of Asperger's.Finding closure doesn’t mean an end to the love you had for your loved one or that you’ll stop loving them or forget about them. There’ll forever be that aspect of their being that you’ll miss and yearn for from time to time. Because healing isn't a one-time thing. It takes time. The repetition of all of the above plus time is what will get you to heal your heart and move on with your life. You can do that through a process known as closure. Even if you can’t obtain closure with the other person involved, you can do it with and for yourself. It’s a way to come to terms with what was lost, and a way to find your inner strength and resiliency to move forward.

On the other hand, a memorial service or funeral is only the beginning of their grief for some people. It signifies the beginning of their life without their loved ones. It also represents the start of getting acquainted with their grief. 5. Try therapy Give yourself some time to grieve your loss and accept how your life has changed after loss. Some changes will not be as apparent and may take longer to manifest than others. For example, when you experience a spouse or lifelong partner's death, you may not notice subtle changes in your social calendar. Sometimes finding out the truth can be even more challenging to accept and process your loved one’s death. There are many online therapy or counseling services where you can find good, quality help whenever needed. Tips for Accepting That You May Not Get Closure After a Loved One Dies advice. Many users would be better served consulting an attorney than using a do-it-yourself onlineDuFour, S. N. (2016). "Shame, Anger, and Guilt: The Hierarchy of Emotions in Restorative Justice." Inquiries Journal/Student Pulse, 8(04). Retrieved from http://www.inquiriesjournal.com/a?id=1401 MLA Finding closure after death is possible for many, but not all. Closure can be described as a process that a grieving person will go through following a loss that isn’t defined by any particular moment. Finding closure requires the acceptance of the reality of your loss.

It’s okay to allow yourself to grieve over the death of your loved one. Crying, feeling sad, angry, and confused are all part of the natural grief process. Let all of those emotions come up to the surface, and try not to judge yourself for feeling what you feel. When you suppress your feelings, it stops you from moving forward in your healing. Pent-up emotions tend to erupt when least expected. 9. Confide in a friend

Emotion wheels can help you identify your emotions and help increase your emotional intelligence. They can also help you positively express your… READ MORE I came away from this book very satisfied. As a female with Asperger's I felt that Caitlin was portrayed realistically. There can be wide differences in how males and females present and I think the author managed to bring those out in Caitlin, though the intense plot does put Caitlin in a situation above and beyond normal everyday life. Finally, there is Caitlin's voice. It drove me absolutely insane. Some have argued that this is a good thing. If Caitlin's voice annoys you then the author must be doing something right in creating a character that doesn't fall into the usual middle grade pattern of protagonists. She is unique. I note this theory, but I don't agree with it. My annoyance isn't necessarily who Caitlin is, but rather the fact that I never for one moment believe that I'm listening to a girl. Instead, for much of this book I felt like I was reading an adult woman putting herself into the head of a girl like Caitlin. How else to explain the off-putting "humorous" moments when Caitlin fails to understand a word or term? We have been assured that she reads at an adult level. Certainly her vocabulary should be through the roof, and yet she stumbles when she hits words as simple as "closure" and "fundraiser" (turning it into the strangely out-of-character "fun raiser"). It seems that Caitlin is only as smart as the plot allows her to be. Otherwise, she's adorably out-of-place, and that manipulation rang false. Defining closure in our society generally means moving past our pain and suffering and leaving behind our grief. We have timelines and milestones to mark our progression and expect most people to get over their sorrow in six to 12 months following a death or other tragic event.